Friday, February 5, 2010

Senintmental Sunday


My Gramma Kub died when I was 8yrs old. She was everything to me, and I grieved her lost. I remember going to the funeral home and seeing her lay in the coffin as though she was sleeping. I reached out and touched her hand to see if she would wake up, but she didn't move. This was my first experience with death and I wasn't sure what to think or feel except great pain. We went to the cemetery and I looked at the coffin knowing the women I loved and whom loved me was in that box being put into the ground. I was thinking she would never go to her cupboard and give me Lifesavers ever again. (Remember I was only 8).
Then my dad and his sister, my aunt Betty, started going through Grama's stuff dividing it between them. At the time I did not realize that would be the last time I would be in her house. To this day I remember ever square inch, I could even place all her trinkets back it there place.
I remember walking across the steel grating for the furnace in the hallway and how it would cut into my feet. I was scared of falling in. I remember where all the furniture was placed and sheer drapes in the living room. I can see her bedroom and where she would sleep. I can even remember the smells coming from the kitchen.
Soon after we moved to California and I missed her so much I would cry myself to sleep every night. I was in a new place and I felt lost and alone. One night she appeared before me and told me not to cry, she was in heaven with grandpa and I would see her again someday. She looked so beautiful and there was a bright light surrounding her. She told me my parents would take good care of me and that I would be OK. I felt a calm come over me and the grief lifted from my heart. I never cried for her again, but I still miss her deeply and I have wonderful memories. By moving to California I got to meet my maternal grandma and I got close to her fast. She was also an amazing women I admired her strength and her beliefs in God. I have wonderful memories of her as well and she is also greatly missed. I am very luck to of had these women as my grandmothers. I Love them still, and always will, see you on the other side Gramma.

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